Prioritizing Presence

As leaders, we have a never ending duty to set priorities for our organizations. These priorities don’t just indicate what we care about. They reveal how we think our world works. 

Each priority is a strategic bet, rooted in underlying beliefs about what will make us successful. They give us a definition of victory and a map for pursuing it. And we are responsible for both the definition and the map.  

Dad Jokes Won’t Cut It

In organizational life, one way I often mess up is by prioritizing individual achievements over people. I’ve lost entire years worshipping tasks instead of spending time with colleagues, stealthily navigating office hallways to get back to the next item on my checklist. 

This problem was especially bad in my first years as an Executive Director, where I would routinely throw out dad jokes while walking past my staff, protecting my busy schedule with the corniest material available. My responsibilities were brand new in those years. I was getting schooled in the decathlon that is non-profit management. I didn’t believe I could afford to connect with my coworkers and I also wasn’t always sure how to do so. 

Now, eight years into my time as a non-profit executive, I’ve made some progress. I’ve adjusted my calendar to build in relationship time. I’ve grown more comfortable being truly present with others. I’ve relaxed my obsession with checklists and deliverables. But like an invasive weed, the obsession is stubborn and well rooted. Time and again, I fall victim to narrow notions of productivity, which say that my real work is found on my to-do list, rather than in conversation.

Heart Power

Not everyone uses dad jokes to avoid relationships. Most people don’t hide behind the chicken who crosses the playground (to get to the other slide) or that one pizza pun that’s too cheesy for me to even mention. But I’m not the only person who struggles to prioritize presence.

All leaders have their own unique avoidance tactics and strategies. We have a billion stories we tell ourselves as we work during breakfast, stay on our phones over lunch, or clean our inboxes over dinner. Our approaches differ, but I believe there is one foundational problem at the root of many of our patterns.

We value our minds over our hearts. 

We believe our ideas are more important than our natural ability to care. We cling to limited narratives of ourselves and others, rather than engaging dynamics that might bring us into mutual understanding. We dodge differences of all kinds.

Often chasing a new vision, I am super guilty of putting the mind before the heart. Even when my task list is kept in check, each day brings dozens of fresh ideas that kick me out of connection. It’s one of those gifts that can quickly become a curse. 

But I am learning, little by little, over and over, to lead with heart, allowing my mind to assume the role of faithful servant. I am learning to put: colleagues before tasks, dialogue before deliverables, real people before phones, joy before inboxes, healing before punishment, health before workaholism, and connection before isolation.